I wish I was as thin as I was when I thought I was fat...

I'm the other one. Sarah. You might have read my whining about my weight here. I've been kvetching about the baby weight for just shy of three years now. And honestly? Even before that, I was never really thin enough to be happy. It's funny how, no matter what you weigh, it seems like you should weigh less, and then when you gain, it seems like that former weight, unacceptable at the time, was actually your ideal, happy, perfect, skinny-girl weight. Okay, so maybe it's more sad than funny.

This magnet is perched on my fridge, reminding me, every time that I go in for a nosh, of my quest to stop putting on the poundage. Most of the time, rather than keeping me from finding a snack, it makes me wish I had a giant Archie Bunker-esque Barkalounger to kick back on while I eat that delicious piece of cheese.

When I got pregnant with my son, I weighed 145lbs. Please note the honeymoon photos, taken August 2005:

Oh, hello, old face. Without extra chins.

And look! A discernible separation between boobs and gut. And please note the calves I'm rocking. Sigh.

Now?

That's me, to the far right. You know. The one who looks NOTHING like the girl in the top two pictures.

Aaaaand, that's me. The one that's not a 3.5 year old boy.

Oy. My work, friends? Is cut out for me. This week, I weigh 173lbs. My goal is that by the time I attend BlogHer '10 in NYC this coming August, I will weigh 30lbs less and be back to my wedding weight of 145lbs. It won't be easy--I've been setting this goal over and over for the past three years.

But the failures have to stop--as my son gets older, I not only have to set a good example for him, but I have to ensure that I am healthy, and that I am around for him as he grows up. With high blood pressure and heart disease in my family, my weight loss cannot be simply about my vanity (but let's make no mistake--it's a LOT about my vanity). It has to also be about my health. When I weighed 145lbs and wanted to lose 30lbs, it wasn't the same as it is now. Now, not losing 30lbs is actually shaving years off of my life. And I am digging life far too much to duck out of the game early. So, extra 30lbs taking up space inside my skin? Your days are numbered.